Well i gave been staying home for nearly a month now, however, my job that laid me off called to have me come back some time between now and next month so I guys that’s a plus. Just went to the best hair stylist to get my hair fixed and because I have already bought a wig from the last hair disaster i told her to do whatever she wants, which ended up pretty cool. I’m taking my daughter to her tonight fort her first hair cut. I couldn’t have her cut her hair and mine at the same time because daddy wants to be there too. So I’m pretty excited about this, not as upset a i have heard other mothers be. I will be saving a small clump for the scrap book but that’s all for her not for me. My mom kept an unusual scrapbook, all for her that I was never even allowed to see let alone have. I do not want that for my daughter.
There are many people that will tell you that it is never too late, but really what are they thinking. I’m pretty sure that if I were to eat a handful of poisonous berries, it may in fact, be too late. But then it can cause you to wonder, other than ingesting something that will work it’s ways into your veins and kill you, where is the too late line formed. I am reasonably young, yet have been living like this for so long I don’t remember exactly what it felt like living any other way. And things change from day to day and day to month, but in all it’s still pretty much the same. I have a 2 year old and there is no time for me. I can’t even go to the bathroom without her needing to sit down next to me. She is going through the terrible twos and I guess I am handling it well. There are a lot of sleepless nights as my miss independent decides that 11pm to 3am are awake times and there is nothing I can do to convince her this is not so. I am essentially laid off from work, which I could be taking worse since I am the bread winner of the family, but maybe I am just so tired that I have kinda enjoyed staying in my PJs for 2 days now. Or maybe it is all because this is my life, and this isn’t anywhere as close to as bad as things have been or will be, so why get myself upset when next week things will be totally different. Not better, not necessarily worse, just different.